Relaxation of Expectations
The snippet below is of a story that was submitted to be published on the blog. It is a true story. (We will name the two characters, John* and Jane*)
They went on a date months after numbers were exchanged: and they only dated for 16 hours…
On the actual date day:
John: I have a daughter, I do smoke and drink
Jane: I don’t think you’ll be compatible with me, I don’t drink or smoke and I don’t think I am ready to have a child or to mother someone’s child.
Then he spends the whole evening trying to convince me…
John: No don’t worry about the drinking and smoking I can control myself.
Jane: I am allergic to cigarette smoke though.
John: No, I care about you so much. I will never smoke in front of you. The child won’t be an issue because she lives with her mom and there’s no baby-momma drama. We are all matured adults.
He spent the whole evening convincing me. Opposite attracts and all that. The difference in the both of us will actually bring out the best in us and all of that, is what he kept on saying.
Jane- Eventually, by the end of the night, I was prepared to try this “adventure and see where it takes us”. I went to his house around 6pm and left maybe around 9pm. That evening, we sent each other sweet messages. Then the following morning while I was at work, the guy sends me a long message explaining how he thinks he and I won’t work because we are from two different worlds and that we are too different.
I can’t believe I spent my whole evening telling him that we were not compatible, and he managed to convince me only to tell me this! So after reading that message, I asked, so are you breaking up with me? And his response was, “No I’m not breaking up with you, it’s a relaxation of expectations”
That phrase just finished me. I was goooonnnee. And I laughed and I was like “This is God, He knows this relationship isn’t for His child even though I had made this decision. ‘Let me just remove this guy from her life. Let me remove him right now, let this not even go any further”.
And that was it! My shortest relationship ever. A good 16 hours ahahahahah wow. Not only do I still laugh at that phrase but it is indeed a unique catch phrase.
What I personally learnt from this experience is that, I should stand firm in my beliefs and morals and not let anyone convince me otherwise, lest I get hurt or place myself in situations that may compromise my values and faith. In short, my relaxation of expectations were only met, afterwards, and so I have learnt.